Havin' A Ball

My friend once told me about an episode of The Simpsons where Homer orders steak with meatballs as a drink. Even though I haven't seen it, I smile every time I think about it.

Meatballs are brilliant. They are like burgers, but they come in sauce which (unless done poorly) helps them to stay good and juicy. I don't know anyone who doesn't love them, nor do I want to. Which is why opening a restaurant centred around balls of meat is a cracking idea.

A cracking idea, that is, until you remember that they are actually hard to get right. And, if you don't, everyone will notice. Meatball's meatballs are not perfect but I'm not sure it matters. The menu is short and enticing, offering a choice of five meatballs (beef and ricotta, greek lamb, pork and rosemary, chicken, vegetarian courgette) with a selection of delightful sides or 'underneaths' including fluffy mash, honey and thyme roasted carrots and egg pappardelle.

We went as a group of six which turned out to be a perfect number for piling into the booths (I do love a booth) and ordering pretty much everything on the menu. The decor is great: polished wood, elegant leather, and a charming assortment of light fittings (I do love a light fitting). The atmosphere was a little timid for my Friday night taste but here we should note two things: one, I have a big mouth and like going places that drown out my noise and two, they have not been open long so a little time should take care of this.

Most of all though, it was just fun. Fun in the way that tapas with a table of people is fun. Lots of "Oooooh try this one," and "Stop hogging the pork balls!" It is the perfect place to go with a group and be guaranteed there is something on the menu for everyone. Because the menu is meatballs and everyone, particularly Homer Simpson, loves a meatball...

Meatballs at the Quality Chop House

92-94 Farringdon Road

EC1R 3EA

Cross It Off

Saturday mornings mean Saturday kitchen and breakfast in bed, which is why I have missed out on the delights of North Cross Road Market until now. Thank god for circumstance (and a freelance article) which got me out of bed at 8am and daaan the market by 9.

I was there to hang out with Cooper aka The Dogfather who was a pleasure and a joy. What a lovely man and, more importantly, what ridiculously delicious hot dogs. I grilled him whilst he grilled and watched in awe as he created corkers like 'The Mexican Elvis' (Beef Steak n' Pinto Bean Sauce, Jalapenos, Cheddar, Grilled Onions, Hot Cheese Sauce and a 100% beef dog) to a queue of adoring fans.

Once Cooper got busy, I got busy with the rest of the market...

Gourmet Lunch Boxes (mmmm... saffron chicken), The Viet-Van (mmmm... Vietnamese baguettes), Comfort and Joy (mmmm... wraps), as well as huge wodges of sexy cheese, wickedly plump tomatoes and indecently glossy tarts. If I hadn't already eaten a mammouth hot dog, I would have been in serious trouble.

Get ye down to East Dulwich. I like it so much, I'm moving there.

(I would not lie for journalistic effect.)

North Cross Road Market

East Dulwich

SE22 9EV

Monday to Saturday

Carbs in Marbs

I try to be classy. I buy meat from the butcher, wine that costs over £5 a bottle and, when on holiday, try to eat as authentically as possible. Which is why I am slightly shamefaced about my food consumption on a recent trip to Spain. The only night I ate something Spanish (Paella) was the night I drank so much (cheap) wine, I forgot how to use my camera...

I did take a lot of nice pictures though, I particularly love the old men on benches.

Hummmmus

As August drew to its crappy, non sunny close, I was learning two lessons. One, if you are booking a flight and, in order to save £50 you book one that flies via Oslo, don’t. Two, if you decide not to follow that advice and book a flight from Malaga to Gatwick via Norway’s capital (taking 16 hours), it is probably best not to eat a large Double Whopper meal beforehand. Why? Because, when you finally get off the plane and go directly to work, you will feel like shit.

What Malaga airport desperately needs is a Hummus Bros. Had I gorged on pureed chickpeas with tasty toppings before embarking on my mammoth journey, I’d still have been knackered but not felt like I had mad cow disease (although some might argue you’d have to be mad cow to book the flight in the first place). Healthy fast food is not a radical idea, neither is hummus, but the novelty of putting the two together is yet to wear off (the first HB opened in Soho in 2005, Holborn in 2007 and St Pauls last year). I fell for its charms in 2009 when I worked on Southampton Row and would stagger into the Holborn branch, always hung over, every Friday.

The Soho one is bigger than Holborn and boasts table service which is always a nice touch in a fast food joint (unless you want very fast food, in which case you can go up to the counter). Knowing what to do I ordered quickly, got my order even quicker and then ate as if in some kind of legume consuming race.

Special: Italian Sausage Casserole

Sausage not all that, but had infused its fatty flavour into the ratatouille-like sauce which was delicious.

Smokey Barbequed Aubergine

This, basically baba ghanoush not blended into a dip, was extremely moreish. Particularly good smeared onto the pitta bread, topped with the sausage casserole and hummus.

Greek Salad

Fresh, crunchy, salty and a nice accompaniment to the heavier dishes.

What I really like about Hummus Bros is that they have taken a simple concept and continue to do it really well because of that fact. The bread is freshly made, the hot toppings slow-cooked and the extras (a zingy green chilli sauce, for one) full of flavour. Fingers crossed the next outpost is at Gatwick.

Hummus Bros - Soho

88 Wardour Street

W1F 0TH

Meat Uneasy

I've suffered a grave blow at the hands of a meat patty and I'm finding it hard to recover.

Having spent most of the year banging on about the genius of Yianni and Co's Meateasy/Meatwagon burgers to anyone who would listen, last night I found myself chewing a mouthful of disappointment. And it tasted just like Mcdonalds.

These are harsh words, I know, and it pains me to type them (me being the biggest fan of the pink, charred, juice running down your chin experience that was the original Meatwagon burger). When they popped up in New Cross earlier this year, I was there once a week. I loved the food (which was consistently brilliant) but I equally loved that the burgers came with a side of effortless cool (I tried to make that sound as ungeeky as possible but saying cool is not cool). The space was genuis, the cocktails that came in old jars magic, and the vibe, well it made you want to get pissed and dance like you just didn't care.

So, having made the pilgrimage to The Rye in Peckham (one of the current venues for the MW crew) to re-aquaint myself with my favourite food experience of 2011, I'm sure you can imagine my expectations were pretty high.

And they were shot down.

This was supposed to be a quick, non-rant post so I wont go on. I will just say this. The patties were smaller, with no sign of pink in the middle, the iceberg lettuce soggy and the plastic cheese (which seemed cheerfully kitsch at Meateasy) less ironic when it's the only thing you can taste.

I sincerely hope that when I return (I don't give up that easy, particularly if there's meat involved) last night's hiccup was a mere fluke of the grill. Otherwise Peckham is going to see a few tears.

Was There Any Ponte?

From time to time, particularly when you have little or no contacts of your own, it is only fair to piggyback on the opportunities of others. Which is why, when my food writer friend Neil (or The Lambshank Redemption to many) invited me to be his plus one, I brought my camera.

Cantina del Ponte has the same happy location on Shad Thames as my previous entry, The Blueprint Cafe, meaning lovely views of Tower Bridge. We sat outside which is always agreeable and, despite the fact it rained (where are you summer?), it was nice to take advantage of the location from beneath the awning. If I had been allowed to smoke it would have been quite perfect.

Nicotine addiction aside, we enjoyed a good meal. As Neil quite rightly said, "You wouldn't go to Tokyo looking for the perfect Pork Pie." i.e one shouldn't expect perfect Italian food in London, particularly if, like me, you have recently returned from said country.

We kicked the meal off with some bread and olive oil. I love bread and I love olive oil.

Bocconcino Di Capra Con Confettura Al Peperoncino

Otherwise known as warm goats cheese which was runny and delicious, chilli jam which was sweet and spicy and homemade foaccia (I love bread). I'm letting the fact that it was served on a black plate slide and calling it old-school.

Spaghetti Allo Scoglio

I had this dish practically every night in Italy and it was, as I feared, a poor cousin. Not terrible exactly, just not great.

Crostatina Di Ciliegie Con Gelato Alla Vaniglia

Mmmm warm cherry pie. I'm not entirely sure the pastry was perfect, but the cherries were sweet, the ice cream creamy and I'd had half a bottle of house white and a glass of prosecco by this point, so it was definitely marvellous. Again enjoyed the old-school dusting of icing sugar.

Cantina del Ponte does not serve perfect Italian food *falls over in shock* but the service is good, prices keen and it does have great location. It wouldn't be my first choice in Shad Thames, or my second, but you could do a lot worse along that riverside stretch (All Bar One, I'm looking at you).

Cantina Del Ponte

36C Shad Thames

SE1 2YE

Blueprint Cafe

The afternoon before dining at the Blueprint Cafe, I happened upon an interesting conversation with a friend whose boyfriend is a chef. Apparently he HATES people who come into his restaurant and order the set menu. This irritated me.

Sometimes *steps up on to her soap box* people want to eat in fancy restaurants and sometimes those people can’t afford to pay £30 for a main course. So what *raises her voice an octave* is wrong with getting part of the experience. Surely better than no experience at all.

I realise that I fall into the above category, so my opinion is a little one sided, but I do loathe the shame that taints the set menu, which is why the experience that followed it was so sweet.

The Blueprint Cafe is housed on the second floor of the Design Museum, just past Tower Bridge, on the river, rewarding diners with some rather lovely views. The interior is cute; round tables, big windows, the odd stripe (my friend said that it felt a bit 90s in a good way).

The food was good. Not get up and do a little dance good, but definitely do a little smile at the first mouthful good. The website tells me that Scottish chef, Jeremy, has been there for 16 years and is much praised for his 'seasonal, uncomplicated cooking' (which is exactly how I would have described it had they not got there first).

Lettuce and Loveage Soup

I would never usually order soup in a restaurant, particularly one containing only vegetables but this was brilliant. Vibrant green, it couldn't have looked more pleasing and it tasted like a summer garden. It did need a generous shake of salt but this was forgiven once I realised it came with fresh sourdough and a slab of creamy butter. Mmmmm.

Leg of Lamb with a Mustard Crust

I was surprised when this turned up in a mini casserole dish. Not that I minded, but I had expected something more akin to a steak than a stew. The slow cooked lamb was studded with sweet peas and topped with a tangy mustard crust. We splashed out and ordered a side of vegetables (£4) and were delighted with the huge bowl of minted courgettes and runner beans, and an equally large bowl of crispy new potatoes.

Raspberry Shortcake

I didn't actually get to taste this but it looked pretty which is always a good start. Mouth full, my dining companion informed me 'the raspberries are nice and tart, the shortcake light and buttery and the cream not too sweet'.

This was a good meal, and perhaps it would have been a great meal had I ordered from the main menu but so what. The staff are clearly well schooled because I was never made to feel like a tramp, I got to enjoy a gorgeous sunset in one of my favourite parts of the Thames, and I got to eat a meal in a restaurant I might think twice about visiting if I had to pay full price. So, until I can afford to stop being a cheapskate, I've found a place where it just don't seem so bad...

Set Menu: £15 for two courses, £22 for three courses

Butlers Wharf
28 Shad Thames

SE1 2YD
020 7378 7031